just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize