Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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