he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize