I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
