That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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