we have pet lesbian snakes
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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