may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
