I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
