Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
