Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
