Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
