DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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