Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
