it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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