I just gift wrapped bread.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
