I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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