dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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