do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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