hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
