so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
