HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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