I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
