im drinking this country out of the recession.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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