The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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