Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
