u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
