The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
