my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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