dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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