im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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