every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize