I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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