no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
