Can Purell be used as lube?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
