what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
