Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
