her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
