are you still at the devil's house?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
