i think my tv is drunk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
