My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
