my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
