R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
