suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
