she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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