Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
