She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
MIDGETS
????
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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