No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
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