I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
