is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
