My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
