he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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