Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
