i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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