put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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