so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
