hotel room ftw
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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