We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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