shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
