And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
