What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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