I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize