Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
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So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL