is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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