I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize