Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
