I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
