Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
